Finding memory care for a loved one seems utterly impossible. There’s really no way around it. The choices are overwhelming, the terminology is unclear, and the decision has potentially life-altering implications. Most families are completely unprepared for this journey, and honestly, it’s to be expected. Memory care isn’t something you know much about unless you need to search for it yourself.

Memory care has evolved quite a bit over the last decade. What used to be a simpler decision about whether to enter a nursing home or stay home has exploded into a whole host of options, levels of support, philosophies, and vastly differing costs.

Memory Care Defined

Memory care typically refers to living arrangements for Alzheimer’s or dementia patients. Again, this definition encompasses a fairly wide range of facilities and levels of care.

Some memory care units are secured wings within assisted living facilities. Others are standalone memory care facilities. The levels of medical support, staff-to-resident ratios, and daily activities vary from facility to facility.

What are the common elements? These facilities are intentionally designed to keep residents safe while still allowing them to retain their independence and dignity for as long as possible. This means secured settings to prevent wandering, trained staff, and activities that recognize the limitations of the residents and seek to engage them anyway.

Maximizing Your Search For Memory Care Facilities

There are so many memory care facilities that it’s impossible to search for one the way you’d look for a new car. You could spend months visiting facilities and reading review after review and still have no idea which choice you need to make for your loved one.

Most families find that using Senior Living Advisors greatly helps streamline the process. These representatives have already toured the facilities, built relationships with the staff, and their insider knowledge isn’t usually found in the pamphlets.

They can quickly help you narrow your search to a handful of solid options based on your loved one’s needs, budget, and desires. This way, you have more time to focus on the few solid choices versus the overwhelming number of options available to you.

What Level of Memory Care is Required?

Not all memory care patients need the same level of care. This is where most families struggle since determining the level of care your loved one needs can be tricky.

Memory care assisted living facilities are the “lowest” level of care. These facilities are often buildings where residents with memory concerns need assistance with daily living tasks, like showering, getting dressed, or managing medications, as well as memory care programs. Usually, residents have their own rooms or apartments, and a lot of the programming focuses on establishing consistent routines.

Memory care nursing homes are often needed by residents with higher medical needs. If your loved one has serious issues other than their memory concerns, this may be something to consider. Remember that these facilities usually feel very institutional and are much more expensive than assisted living facilities.

There’s also a bit of a gray area between assisted living with “memory support” and actual memory care units. This distinction is important! Some assisted living facilities market their services as memory care, but they have not established secured wings or designed programming focused on residents with dementia. This may be acceptable for someone in the early stages of dementia, but they do not compare with an actual memory care facility.

Knowing When it’s Time

Most families search for memory care facilities too late. You adapt. You adjust. And you make compromises. You do everything but acknowledge your loved one needs more help than their family can provide.

The signs that prompt most families to seek memory care for their loved one can be subtle. It can feel like a slow leak rather than an impending crisis that should be addressed. Mom forgets breakfast. Dad wanders out the door at 3 am. They forget medications or take double doses.

Usually, memory concerns lead to safety concerns that eventually push families to seek memory care for their loved ones. Wandering is one of the biggest issues prompting people to consider this option. So is forgetting things like turning off the stove or getting lost in familiar settings. When someone can no longer be safely left alone at home and home care assistance is no longer sufficient, memory care isn’t just an option; it’s a necessity.

What to Look For in Memory Care Facilities

Looking at memory care facilities can feel confusing. Some look like fancy hotels, while others feel very institutional. Neither option guarantees good care.

The most crucial factor when assessing a memory care facility is figuring out the staff-to-resident ratio rather than comparing the coffee shop in one facility to another. Ask how many staff members work each shift and how many residents they are responsible for.

A nice facility with overworked staff will not provide good care for your loved one.

Look at how the staff interacts with current residents while you’re touring the facility. Are they patient? Respectful? This observation will provide you with a much clearer picture of what to expect for your loved one than any marketing pamphlet.

It’s also important to ask what types of staff training they implement for dementia care. General techniques used in assisted living facilities will not cut it. Staff should know how to redirect residents instead of arguing with them and how to manage troublesome behavior while prioritizing the residents’ dignity when they can’t advocate for themselves.

Finally, remember to ask about the physical space, too! Residents with dementia navigating a memory care facility do better with proper designs, including circular hallways and clear sightlines to help them find their way around rather than with navigating a new building they cannot recall. The outside should also be secure yet accessible since being able to wander outside is a vital part of having a good quality of life for dementia patients.

The Financial Component of Memory Care Facilities

Memory care is a significant financial investment! Most facilities fall between $4k-$8k/month and in some areas, costs soar well above $10k/month.

Medicare will not pay for long-term memory care (many families are surprised by this!). However, Medicaid will eventually pay for memory care services in most states after your loved one expends their resources.

Long term care insurance may provide some funding if it was purchased many years ago and covers memory care facilities. VA Aid and Attendance benefits may also pay some benefits to qualifying veterans and/or their spouses.

Facilities also vary greatly in cost, so keep in mind that costs will likely increase from month to month. This base price also probably covers a low amount of aide intervention. Additional costs may come up if the resident needs additional help with a specific task (like feeding themselves) or if they need one-on-one aide intervention.

Remember to ask what other services or supports might cause an added cost rather than assuming the monthly fee only includes a certain amount of aide intervention.

Questions You Should Ask

The questions most families ask about availability and cost, but additional questions also matter.

How are medical emergencies dealt with? When the time comes that your loved one’s dementia progresses to the point that they can no longer stay in the facility, where will they go? Will they be admitted to a nursing home or will they be able to stay in the facility until their last days?

How does the facility manage challenging behavior? All facilities have different approaches to managing agitation and aggression in residents. Pushy facilities that try to forcibly medicate residents who are behaving badly should be red flags.

Keep in mind the visiting hours at the facility, also. Most facilities will allow you to visit whenever you’d like; however, some might recommend steering clear of peak times (activities, meals, etc.).

Making The Decision

There’s rarely an ideal time or facility to enter into a contract with. You’re doing this in “crisis” mode (emotional and otherwise), so there might not be an ideal set of data points.

If possible, involve your loved one! Even someone in the early stages of dementia can have preferences about where they want to live, and it may make things easier if the staff can tell you’re respecting their choices as well.

Be realistic about what you can do. Memory care facilities exist because dementia hits a point where even love/loyalty from family members is not enough to provide support. These facilities help aides and companions work together so caregivers can focus on just being a partner-in-crime instead of drowning in the work of providing all support needs.